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Archive for October, 2004

Chaos at home

They are all here. The house is in chaos. One of my family members came back to have iftar with us. And he brought back all his children along. The twins are so happy to see their cousins that they decided to have fun. They refused to sleep the whole afternoon. But Alhamdulillah, they slept quite early tonight. And I finally get to rest.My other half is on night shift tonight. So, I am all alone. After we made up, we never fought again until today. We promised ourselves that we will try to rekindle the love between us both. And we will always think of the kids. I love them too much. And so does he. And I cannot imagine them growing up without a father to love. Allah.. please help us. Please guide us and protect us from harm.

Last Friday’s discussion session was also great. I learnt a lot from the group. I miss the times in Melbourne where those gatherings happen more often. It is so true when people say that the environment around you shapes your character in a way. I should go to these gatherings more often.

I miss my other half. Very badly.

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I love the photo above. It reminds me of him. He loves to hug me that way. And I am so glad we made up. Although the hurt is still there, but we made up for the kids.

He asked me why we are so different from each other. I couldn’t answer him. I simply said, probably because we both have different aims in life. Thus, whatever we do would reflect that aim. I want something else. He wants something else. He asked me again what I want in life. I told him that I want Allah’s love. He was silent.

But that was the truth. I am beginning to think so much about death and life after it. I don’t think I am ready at all. Look at the number of missed prayers over my 30 years of age. Look at the number of sins I have committed. Should I go on living my old way of life?

I want to gain His love. I want you to gain His love. My love, if you are reading this, please know that I love you so much.. but Allah’s love is greater. Let us walk this journey towards Allah’s love together.. Lead me… Hold my hand and show me the way…

Allah… give me guidance… patience…

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Disaster

It was horrible. Disastrous. I still do not know why we fought. I cried so badly. I still can’t believe I did it. Allah.. why was I so unable to control myself? Why did I have to hurt him so badly?? He did hurt me bad. He did. But that did not give me a good reason to do so. I am so stressed.

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It is here again. I’ve tried to put a positive mindset today, but it doesn’t work. I’m still feeling tired. I hate Mondays. Or should I hate weekends? If weekends do not exist, we’d have to work every day, then I won’t be having any Monday blues. But then, if they really do not exist, that would be unbearable. It won’t just be Monday blues, but every day blues!Saturday was bad. We had to work. The whole day. I wanted to leave after lunch, but then, some ‘words of wisdom’ before we started off changed my mind. While it is true that ownership would make us commit to our employer, but not on weekends!!!

Spent the whole Sunday shopping for new clothes for the kids. Syawal is getting close.. but that means that Ramadhan is coming to an end. What have I achieved so for this Ramadhan???

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It is here again. I’ve tried to put a positive mindset today, but it doesn’t work. I’m still feeling tired. I hate Mondays. Or should I hate weekends? If weekends do not exist, we’d have to work every day, then I won’t be having any Monday blues. But then, if they really do not exist, that would be unbearable. It won’t just be Monday blues, but every day blues!Saturday was bad. We had to work. The whole day. I wanted to leave after lunch, but then, some ‘words of wisdom’ before we started off changed my mind. While it is true that ownership would make us commit to our employer, but not on weekends!!!

Spent the whole Sunday shopping for new clothes for the kids. Syawal is getting close.. but that means that Ramadhan is coming to an end. What have I achieved so for this Ramadhan???

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Memories are Forever

If there was another place on earth I’d rather be, it’s here. Right there in Melbourne. I miss the life there. I miss all my friends.. and most of all, I miss the beautiful beaches.Remember Sunday mornings where we used to have coffee on Brunswick Street? At the Black Cat cafe?Remember Friday afternoons where we used to take the tram to St Kilda Beach just to have a glass of mango lassi?

Remember the times that we used to spend just strolling along Swanson Street?
Those Saturday mornings where we used to shop at Victoria Market?

What about the Islamic classes at the mosque in the city center??

Life could never be better..

PS: My other half is on night shift tonight. I miss him like crazy.

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I am suddenly feeling very stressed. Why the sudden change of mind? I thought that it was agreed some time ago that we didn’t have to go to the wedding. Allah! I have everything planned at the office. I’d like to finish up all my tasks since the boss won’t be around. But I guess I have to follow the majority. Try and take it positively my dear!! You will have a good break with your kids thus you should enjoy the time.

Well, I saw this on my mailbox this morning..

Our Birth is our Opening Balance !
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award


Something to ponder…………………..

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