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Archive for August, 2009

52 vs. 9

Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka yang ke 52 to all Malaysians.

 

Let us all pray that we will all finally experience the true meaning of independence in this country.

 

And, today is also my wedding anniversary… my ninth wedding anniversary. My husband reminded me this morning that I officially became his wife at 10.04 a.m. And that was something I never thought he would remember, and with such accuracy!

 

Anyway, we had a small celebration at one of our favourite restaurants… Secret Recipe! We did think of somewhere else, but with the kids coming along, that seemed to be the most viable option. Plus they love the food there.

Anniversary 2009 

 

Nine years is not long for some people, but it is sufficient for me to be thankful to Allah for a marriage that has its ups and downs, and therefore, has taught me a lot of things in life, including being more patient.

 

I found this article that I think is worth sharing.

 

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love (Source: Ilmfruits)

 

1.       Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!

2.       Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3.       Smell good!

4.       Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

5.       Don’t keep asking him, “What are you thinking?”

6.       Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.

7.       Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or amicable divorce

8.       Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

9.       Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10.    Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

11.    Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

12.    Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

13.    Tell him he’s the best husband ever.

14.    Call his family often.

15.    Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

16.    When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.

17.    Encourage him to do good deeds.

18.    If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.

19.    Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.

20.    If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

21.    When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

22.    Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

23.    Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.

24.    If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.

25.    Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

26.    Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.

27.    Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

28.    Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.

29.    Learn to make his favorite dish.

30.    Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

31.    Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

32.    Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33.    Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]

34.    Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha narrated that the Prophet  used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”

35.    Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

36.    Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

37.    Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

38.    Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

39.    Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

40.    Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

41.    The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

42.    Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.

43.    Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

44.    Brush your hair, everyday.

45.    Don’t forget to do laundry.

46.    Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

47.    Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

48.    Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.

49.    Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

50.    Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

51.    Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

52.    Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

53.    Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

54.    If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.

55.    Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56.    Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)

57.    Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

58.    Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

59.    If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

60.    Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

 

My favourites are definitely numbers 17, 46, 57 and 60.

Let us all pray, that we have a blessed life… dunia dan akhirat.

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Tooth Matters #2

My younger twin lost her first front tooth yesterday.

 

This time around, I was there to witness it, Alhamdulillah.

 

Seronok! 

I hope I get to see the elder twin lose her next tooth. :P

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Comments on Permatang Pasir

Alhamdulillah, PAS retained its Permatang Pasir seat. Congratulations to Ustaz Salleh Man who won with a majority of 4551. I pray that Allah gives him the strength, perseverance and wisdom to fulfill his obligations as an ADUN. 

 

Now, it is 7 to 1. Out of the 8 by-elections, Pakatan Rakyat retained 7. And BN only won 1, in Sarawak. Well, we nearly lost in Manek Urai. 

 

Maybe Manek Urai was an isolated case. The result of Permatang Pasir’s by-election seems to indicate that the rakyat’s sentiment is still the same, if not better. The turnout was a lot lesser, but the decrease in majority is not too huge. If the percentage of turnout was higher or at least equal to the 12th General Elections, the results may be different. The majority could even be higher than that of the recent GE.  

 

But then again, Permatang Pasir has always been ‘kubu kuat PAS’. BN would have faced great difficulties in trying to wrestle the seat away from PAS. I guess the real test of the people’s sentiment would be if there is a by-election at any ‘kubu kuat BN’ or any area that is seen to be a ‘50-50’ area. Then we may be able to see where Pakatan Rakyat stands, and whether or not the people trust our leaders to make a difference.

 

Seriously though, not another by-election please, not unless we cannot avoid it. By-elections are just too mentally exhausting for people like me!  

Regardless, perjuangan ini belum selesai!

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Permatang Pasir

pasmenang1

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Alhamdulillah, today is already the second day of Ramadhan.

 

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan!

 

Ramadhan also marks an important milestone in my life, because I started donning the hijab on the first of Ramadhan 1412 (4 March 1992). At that time, I was pursuing my Foundation Studies at Taylor’s College in Melbourne. A lot of my friends thought that I had a bad dream or a nightmare or something of that nature, because when I woke up that morning, I requested to borrow a ‘tudung’. I just felt that it was the time for me to cover up my aurah, properly and completely. Although I faced a lot of resistance from my parents after donning the hijab, I tried to stay strong.  Seventeen years have passed, and I have always been thankful to Allah for giving me the hidayah to change for the better. Alhamdulillah.  

 

Anyway, I finally got hold of Opick’s Cahaya Hati last Friday. He performed at a concert in UIA, which I had to miss because of the timing, but my classmate was kind enough to purchase his CD for me. Ustaz Hasrizal recommended Opick’s nasyids on his website sometime back, and I managed to download a few from the internet. Alhamdulillah, I finally get the original copy. Indeed, his nasyids are different. I love all of them, but the one that really touches my heart is Ketika Cinta. At the first glance, one may think that it is about the normal man-woman relationship, but when you actually ponder upon the lyrics, it is more than that. Ketika Cinta actually, reminds us of death. The word Cinta in this song, refers to the AlMighty.

 

opick-cahaya hati

 

Ada tiada rasa dalam jiwa

Rindu akan memanggil Mu

Karna setiap jiwa tlah bersumpah

Setia hanyalah kepada Mu

 

Bila cinta ada di dalam jiwa

Wangi bunga dunia tanpa nestapa

Sgala yang dirasa hanyalah Dia

Hatikan memuja hanya padaNya

 

Ketika cinta memanggil… Gemetar tubuhku

Ketika cinta memanggil… Hangatnya nafasku

Ketika cinta memanggil… Menderu sang rindu

Ketika cinta memanggil

 

Rindu…rindu…rindu kalbu

Memanggil-manggil nama Mu

Seperti terbang di langit Mu

Tenggelam di lautan cinta Mu

 

Bertabur kalbu yang rindu

Melebur menjadi satu

Bagai menari diiringi pelangi

Ketika cinta memanggil…

 

Allah tells us, “Everyone is going to taste death… and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us, you will be returned.” (Al Anbiyaa: 35)

 

Al Fatihah to Allahyarham Ustaz Asri Ibrahim. I pray that Allah grant him jannah for changing the lives of so many people around him.

May we all have a blessed Ramadhan and May Allah guide us closer to Him, so that we can achieve our visions as Muslims – mardhatillah. Amin.

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A Touching Moment

There are those moments in life that really touch your heart.

And when you have to go through such moments, you really don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

It was Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS’ ninth convocation ceremony last Sunday. And it may just be another convocation ceremony with the usual processions, speeches, awards, graduates, convofair… but this time, this convocation, there was something different.

A 98-centimetre graduate, Tuan Mohd Irwan Tuan Daud captured the hearts and souls of everyone in the Chancellor Hall when he walked, with so much pride, to receive his scroll from the Pro-Chancellor of the University.

I have seen him when he first registered at the campus, but I never really paid attention to how ‘tall’ he is. On Sunday, when he came to meet the Chancellor during lunch, I was stunned. Speechless. And I just could not control my tears.

 

Yes, you do meet people who are less fortunate all the time. But there was just something special about Tuan Irwan… which I cannot really describe in writing.

When the reporters interviewed him, he said this: “I put all my focus in my studies and not let my disability be a distraction. I am also blessed with friends who do not have any qualms about helping me.”

 

Such courage, such determination, such inspiration.

 

Thank you for touching my heart, and thank you for reminding us to be thankful to Allah for all His blessings.

All the best to you, and I pray that you will do well in your future undertakings.

n_26irwan

C09 06

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Six Years Ago

12 August 2003, Ipoh General Hospital

 

9.15 a.m., Clinic

 

“Since you are already nearly 12 days overdue, I think we should get you induced tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t feel any pain?”

“No doctor. I feel fine actually. I am only a bit tired. No contractions, at all.”

“This is quite odd. Twins usually come early. Okay, let us get you admitted tonight.”

 

13 August 2003, Ipoh General Hospital

 

7.00 a.m., Ward

 

“Let me do a final scan before we induce you, okay?”

The doctor’s face suddenly changed.

“Alamak! Tak de baby yang engage lagi. Your twins must be very active lah ni. Semalam engage, hari ni dah tidak. I think we have to go for a C-section.”

Gulp! No choice ke ni?

“But I have just taken some food to give me energy for the delivery!”

“Aduh! That means we have to do it in the afternoon… okay, let us do it at 3.00 p.m., no food from now, please!”

 

2.00 p.m. Delivery Hall

 

“Are you ready to go now? Let us get you on this stroller-bed”

“Eh… I don’t think you all can carry me lah… I am just too heavy. I can go on the wheelchair.”

“You sure? Okay… let us do that.”

Alamak! Tak muat pulak perut ni. ”Sorry, I think I cannot fit into this. My stomach is just too huge. I think I am still okay to walk.”

And so I did. I walked from the waiting area of the delivery hall, into the Operation Theatre, heart thumping so loudly!

 

2.30 p.m. Operation Theatre

 

I walked into the OT… (with everyone staring at me) did what I was supposed to do… and then…

“It is okay… I think I can go up the operation table by myself”

The doctors and nurses (I think there may have been about 15 of them in there!) looked at me stunned.

“Uhh… okay… we will help you.”

And so, they did what they had to do. And I was all awake at that time, watching them.

               

3.00 p.m.

 

“Eh… anak you besar ni. Okay, first twin coming out!”

Then I heard someone scream, “3.2 kg!”

 

3.01 p.m.

 

“Okay, second twin coming out!”

Then the same earlier person said, “Ni lagi besar, 3.4 kg!”

Wow. 6.6 kg in total. No wonder I gained so much weight. Perut macam belon!

“Er… Doctor… Can you also take out all the fat from my stomach?”

They laughed. I laughed too.

 

4.00 p.m.

 

“I think she is fine. Everything is done now. Take her to the ward.”

Tak payah ke observation area ke?

 

4.20 p.m.

 

The nurses were trying to transfer me from the OT bed on the other bed. I was in the ward. Suddenly, I saw one of the nurses’ face in shock… I will remember that look on her face for the rest of my life.

“Call the doctor, now! The patient is bleeding!” (i.e. post-partum hemorrhage)

And then, everything went kelam-kabut. I started to feel cold, and suddenly, the pain was unbearable.

I cried. I screamed. “Allah… sakit nya. Sakit. Ya Allah.”  

The doctor was then running into the room. She saw what was happening, and quickly, she jumped on the bed.

“Sorry, I have to do this.”

I had no idea what she did. But I was beginning to feel weak.

“Sejuk. Saya sejuk.”

They covered me with 5 layers of blanket.

And I kept on crying.

I looked around to see if the Malaikat Maut was there. I could only see the panicked faces of all the nurses. The pain was getting worse.

Allah… if die now, here…

 

Few minutes later (which seemed hours)…

“Fuh… I think you are okay now. We have stopped the bleeding. Nurse, give her the jab to stop the pain.”

And I don’t remember anything else.

 

13 August 2009

 

Nur Syakirah and Nur Syahirah,

 

Happy 6th birthday.

 

Abah and Mama will love both of you, selamanya.

Birthday

Birthday1

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