Archive for October, 2009

Sesak Dada

Sesak dada. Sesak nafas. Penganiayaan yang maha hebat!

The Perak State Assembly was again in chaos yesterday. Thanks to anilnetto.com for the live feed.

Anyway, I thought Najib has declared that Barisan Nasional is confident that the rakyat now supports them. So, what is the problem? Have a fresh election in Perak. Let the rakyat choose their own government. If BN wins, so be it. If PR wins, so be it.

Otherwise, the whole world will keep laughing at how Barisan Nasional has ‘raped’ democracy in the country. Look at what happened at the Perak State Assembly yesterday. And yet, Zambry can still smile. It is a victory, he said. For whom? For you? Or for the people???

Of late, it is so obvious that BN is trying so hard to make Pakatan Rakyat look bad in the media. Even the smallest news can become a headline. Look at how they played around with the issue on the proposed PAS EGM by Tok Guru. Look at how they portray that Pakatan Rakyat is breaking up when everything is going just fine. Look at how they tried to make Hassan Ali and Khalid Samad look like fools.

On the other hand, the leadership issue in MCA has not even been raised. The corrupt, Isa Samad, who won, will soon be sworn in as an Assemblyman but they are proud of that. The tragedy at Kampar seemed to be swept under the carpet. Who approved the structure of the bridge? Teoh’s case is still unsolved. The constitution has lost its significance and no one seems to bother. The judiciary is in a mess and everyone is happy about it.

Of course, to them, those are small issues. Barisan Nasional will always be perfect. And everything is wrong with Pakatan Rakyat.

Sometimes, I just feel so exhausted although I know that this struggle must go on.


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My kids just completed their final examinations on Thursday.


Alhamdulillah, I think we managed to be more prepared this time around. We reviewed the syllabus a few times, including their hafazan. The elder twin appeared calmer compared to the last exam. She even took time to rest and play after every revision session. I am not worried about their position in the class. I just want them to get something from their learning activities. Insya Allah.


Anyway, mom and dad was talking about Felda Sg Klah Hotsprings on Saturday. Since the kids have finished their exams, and dad’s birthday is coming up this Friday, we decided to give it a go. I have been there in December, during the Family Day, but we didn’t get to explore the whole area since most of the time, we were occupied with games and telematches.


It was quite disastrous, actually.


I woke up at 5 on Sunday to cook nasi lemak… only to find out that we could not bring in food into the area. (Apparently, the rules have been there but they decided to only enforce them recently).


The kids got all excited to mandi-manda in the cool pool (there are two types – hot and cold)… only to find out that the cool area was closed for renovation.


So, we took the kids into the hot pool for less than one hour (they didn’t like it very much), took a walk around the area, and finally went on a tram ride before leaving by noon.




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I failed, miserably.


Seriously, I cannot let go of reading non-academic materials… well… not yet.


Horror betul.


Despite the disastrous ending during my last class on the 12th of October, and as much as I vowed to stop reading non-academic materials until I complete my studies, I still cannot help the urge.


Plus, last Friday was off for us (since Saturday is a public holiday) and I took Monday off to be with my kids on their first day of examinations… Imagine reading journals on a four-day break! Tak boleh jadi ni.


So I ended up reading three books: Wo Ai Ni Allah, Lovers and Strangers Revisited and Gurindam Jiwa. 



Wo Ai Ni Allah is a story of a 14-year old girl who wanted to know if Allah really exists. In the earlier part of the book, the story focused on the dad who was also under the same mission, but later died in a ‘planned’ accident (apparently, the mom’s ex lover killed him). Anyway, both the girl and the dad suffered mental disorder – which really complicated things. Overall, it was an interesting read… but I found some of the paragraphs quite difficult to comprehend (maybe because I wanted to read ‘lighter’ materials!)


LSR-front cover


Robert Raymer’s Lovers and Strangers Revisited won the Popular Book Award for 2009. That was the only reason why I got a copy of the book. It contains 17 short stories, from Robert’s own experience living in Malaysia. I think that any Malaysian who reads this book, can relate to most of the stories in the book. Indeed, it was worth reading.




Finally, Gurindam Jiwa. Three short stories including one GREAT story by Hlovate. By the way, Hlovate, who until today remains anonymous, writes extremely interesting books. In fact, I have read all his (or her) books – 5 Tahun 5 Bulan, aA + bB, Tunas and Rooftop Rant. Of course, the other two stories by Imaen and Noor Suraya are equally interesting, except that Hlovate’s style of writing captivates me!

Let me try to renew my vow: I will stop (read: I will TRY to stop) reading non-academic materials beginning… TODAY!

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I – The End 

Last Monday was my last official class at UIA. It was quite disastrous actually, having to present part of your proposal to your own supervisor. He wasn’t utterly happy with what I have done and believed that I should have done much more. And yes, maybe I have not done enough. But I wish he wasn’t so discouraging. His expectations from Day 1 have been very high, and he believes that doing it part-time should not be an excuse for one to lag in their research work.


As much as I am glad that I don’t have to travel weekly (and at night) to and from UIA, I am terrified of my days to come. The journey is definitely going to be more taxing, but I guess it is all part of the learning process. Surprisingly, that ‘discouraging’ effect I felt on Monday turned 360 degrees the next day. I even made a vow to read nothing else other than academic materials (but I am not too sure if I can cope though).


Anyway, I will see how it goes. My next appointment to see my supervisor is at the end of November, so I have a lot to do before that.


II – Totebags


Sometime back, while I was bloghopping, I came across three bloggers who sell homemade totebags.


And I fell in love with those bags that I decided to purchase them.


I ordered 1 from Ayu, another one from Tika, and two from As (she even gave me two free gifts.. thanks!).






III – Pak Ungku


Yesterday, we had YM Royal Professor Ungku Aziz giving the Merdeka Award Lecture (part of a series) on Real Poverty at the university.


I was there to witness one of the greatest academicians in Malaysia delivering his thought-provoking ideas on what actually is poverty.


He started off by saying we should always be precise with time (I guess it was also because we started quite late!). And he then quoted Confucius who said that we should call things by their proper name, otherwise, we would mislead people, i.e. we should call a spade a spade. Anyway, he advised us to read two important books – the Malay Dilemma and the Chinese Dilemma because they both deal with the issue of assets and wealth distribution amongst the two races in Malaysia.


With regards to poverty, he explains that the more commonly used term for ‘kemiskinan tegar’ is hardcore poverty but to him, hardcore means one is being obstinate. Degil and nak jadi miskin. The thing is, these people do not choose to be poor, but the circumstances have forced them to live in a state which is unacceptable now, considering the development that Malaysia has achieved. Thus, the term Real Poverty or Extreme Poverty is used (i.e. we should call a spade, a spade). This is, to him, another dilemma that we are facing in Malaysia.


He then elaborated that the Real Poverty Group of people are deprived of five important aspects in life, namely health, habitation, education, traveling and sports. And he suggested that these people suffer from real poverty because of low productivity, exploitation and neglect. He strongly believes that if we want to get rid of real poverty, we should change the system completely, especially on getting rid of corruption and cronyism  


There was one thing I disagreed with him, i.e. on the hijab restricting women to be more active and free. But that is something I don’t want to comment, considering his well-known secular background.


Regardless, it was an extremely enlightening session.


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Bagan Pinang By-Election

bgn pinang

Isa Samad’s win was more than expected.

As much as I am disappointed with Zulkefly’s defeat, I still see this win by Isa Samad a blessing in disguise. 

It is a plus point for Pakatan Rakyat because BN, or more specifically UMNO does not believe that integrity is a key element in choosing a leader. It further implies that ‘rasuah’ or ‘bribery’ or ‘money politics’ – whatever they call it, is still acceptable in their culture. To tell you the truth, when Isa was first declared as an official candidate, I had a really good laugh. Do they seriously have no one else to contest? UMNO’s culture is quite odd actually – character and values are not considered in their selection of candidates. Therefore, Pakatan Rakyat should take advantage of this situation and promote our own culture and belief – integrity!


Even Tengku Razaleigh said that, “A win by Isa would translate into an endorsement of corruption-as-usual within the party and the government that it leads.” And he outrightly stated that he hopes Isa loses, for UMNO has fielded one that has been proven corrupt.


But UMNO still won.


UMNO may have won the battle, but Pakatan Rakyat hopes to win the bigger war, insya Allah.


In any event, this defeat should be a wake-up call for Pakatan Rakyat. The past 7 success stories may not hold true in all circumstances. I still think that Pakatan Rakyat has a lot more work to do, especially in Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor, and plus, Sabah and Sarawak, which are still a bit too far-fetched for us at the moment.


Despite the more positive outlook during the last general elections in these three states, the momentum must remain. BN still controls the federal government, thus, it is still privy to a lot of other things – the media, the civil servants, the money – and that puts Pakatan Rakyat on the losing side. The think-tanks of Pakatan Rakyat may need to come up with more radical strategies to take over the federal government in the next general elections.


Nevertheless, I believe Pakatan Rakyat has worked extremely hard. I pray that Allah rewards your efforts accordingly. We planned, but Allah is still the best planner.


Congratulations anyway, to the PAS candidate, Zulkefly, for your untiring effort and commitment, and for portraying such noble character. May Allah grant you wisdom and strength to go on with your struggle.



Allahu Akbar!

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Why do people find it so hard to forgive and forget?

Seriously, everyone makes mistakes. We are all human beings. We are definitely not ma’sum, neither are we angels. In fact, we commit mistakes every other minute. If not to human beings, to other creations of Allah… and definitely, we commit sins to Allah. Dosa mata, dosa mulut, dosa tangan… and even worse, dosa hati. We may think that no one knows how we feel, but Allah knows. And on the Day of Judgment, not only will Allah question us on our deeds, but also every single feeling or thought that comes across our hearts, or minds.

But then again, human beings are what they are. There are some things in life that we, as human beings, just cannot tolerate. And these are things that really bother our souls. We try to forget it, we try to get it out of our mind we try to have husnuz-zan (bersangka baik) towards whoever has hurt us… but the truth is, we tend to hold a grudge on that someone forever. It is just not that easy to forgive and forget.

When I am faced with such a situation, I try, as much as possible, to think of Rasulullah s.a.w. and emulate his character … for Rasulullah is the most perfect human being ever created, and no one in this world will ever get close to what he is.

I try to forgive. I try to forget. I try to remind myself that I am just a human being. If Rasulullah s.a.w. forgave the people of Taif for throwing stones at him and prayed that they become Muslims, who am I to be so arrogant and not forgive others? And Allah… isn’t He the Most Forgiving???

Ya Allah, please forgive me for all my wrongdoings and for my sins. I pray that you open up the hearts of those whom I have hurt in one way or another, to forgive me for my mistakes. And Allah, grant me the hidayah and courage to forgive those who have hurt me, intentionally or otherwise.

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Jamuan Raya PAS Tambun

PAS Tambun held its Jamuan Hari Raya today, 4 October 2009 at Padang Taman Meru 2B, Ipoh. YB Idham Lim, ADUN Titi Serong (who is also a very active blogger) was the guest of honour together with the leadership of PAS Tambun, including its YDP, Dr Khairuddin Dato Malek.


I hope the food was sufficient, considering the number of people that came. Ramai sungguh!


The kids were lucky again… this time, with YB Idham!


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