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I celebrated my 36th birthday last Friday, 18 June.


It was just perfect, since the huge project’s last day was one day before even though I left Kuala Lumpur earlier than the rest. Alhamdulillah, I am glad that everything went smoothly. Of course, there were hiccups here and there but overall, we received more praises than anything else. The management was very pleased with the great teamwork shown, so that really boosted up every one’s morale. Personally, I learnt a major lesson from this event – no matter how well you plan or how early you start work, it all boils down to crisis management because whether you like it or not, something unanticipated is bound to happen on that day itself, and you just have to be mentally prepared for it.


Anyway, I told my kids in advanced that I do not want any gifts from them, but they decided to give me thirty six kisses on my cheeks!


Abang took me out for lunch since we were both working on that Friday.


My brother took us all for dinner, including my parents, on Saturday night at a new eating place in Ipoh called Restoran Pondok Padang (it is at OneCasuarina, next to Impiana Casuarina Ipoh). The food was good, but the company was even better. The whole bunch was there and my kids, nieces and nephews’ voices were the loudest!!


Later we went for some cakes at Secret Recipe, where I met my primary school teacher who remembers me more than I remember her.


And finally on Monday, my dear boss bought a nice carrot cake to celebrate (and she even ordered some fried mee, and goreng pisang accompanied by sambal kicap!).


And this year, I think I received so many birthday wishes on my Facebook that I spent one whole day thanking each and everyone for their doa. I even received a special birthday wish on Capri’s blog!!


Thank you friends and family for your thoughts, and most importantly for the doa.


I feel extremely touched. And of course… another year older!

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It has been almost three weeks since I let you go.

 

10 March 2010, to be precise.

 

It took me some time to get over you since you have been my most loyal companion for the past six years. You have never caused me any difficulties… instead you made life a lot easier for me and my family.

 

It is not that I don’t love you, but life has to go on. But I will cherish all that we have been through for the past six years.

 

Thank you for being part of me and my family, and for always being there for me. I will miss you terribly.

 

 

To Mr. A, welcome and I hope you will enjoy being part of the family!

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Beautiful

It was the Wedding of The Year for friends who know them. 

 

For the newlyweds, it was a commitment to love and to cherish, for as long as they shall live… and the beginning of a beautiful life together. 

  

My dear friends, Hazrin and Suhana finally tie the knot on 24th December 2009. 

 

Allah has described the marital relationship in Surah Al Baqarah verse 187 that “They are your garments and you are their garments”… and this is to me, one of the most eloquent parable given by AlMighty.  

So, congratulations, and may you have a beautiful life together, sehingga ke syurga, insya Allah.

 After the akad, reception at Impiana Ipoh and at the groom’s place in Teluk Intan

The perfect couple!  

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52 vs. 9

Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka yang ke 52 to all Malaysians.

 

Let us all pray that we will all finally experience the true meaning of independence in this country.

 

And, today is also my wedding anniversary… my ninth wedding anniversary. My husband reminded me this morning that I officially became his wife at 10.04 a.m. And that was something I never thought he would remember, and with such accuracy!

 

Anyway, we had a small celebration at one of our favourite restaurants… Secret Recipe! We did think of somewhere else, but with the kids coming along, that seemed to be the most viable option. Plus they love the food there.

Anniversary 2009 

 

Nine years is not long for some people, but it is sufficient for me to be thankful to Allah for a marriage that has its ups and downs, and therefore, has taught me a lot of things in life, including being more patient.

 

I found this article that I think is worth sharing.

 

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love (Source: Ilmfruits)

 

1.       Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!

2.       Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3.       Smell good!

4.       Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

5.       Don’t keep asking him, “What are you thinking?”

6.       Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.

7.       Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or amicable divorce

8.       Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

9.       Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10.    Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

11.    Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

12.    Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

13.    Tell him he’s the best husband ever.

14.    Call his family often.

15.    Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

16.    When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.

17.    Encourage him to do good deeds.

18.    If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.

19.    Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.

20.    If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

21.    When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

22.    Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

23.    Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.

24.    If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.

25.    Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

26.    Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.

27.    Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

28.    Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.

29.    Learn to make his favorite dish.

30.    Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

31.    Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

32.    Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33.    Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]

34.    Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha narrated that the Prophet  used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”

35.    Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

36.    Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

37.    Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

38.    Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

39.    Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

40.    Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

41.    The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

42.    Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.

43.    Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

44.    Brush your hair, everyday.

45.    Don’t forget to do laundry.

46.    Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

47.    Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

48.    Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.

49.    Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

50.    Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

51.    Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

52.    Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

53.    Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

54.    If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.

55.    Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56.    Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)

57.    Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

58.    Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

59.    If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

60.    Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

 

My favourites are definitely numbers 17, 46, 57 and 60.

Let us all pray, that we have a blessed life… dunia dan akhirat.

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My sister-in-law recently got married to her long-time sweetheart.

 

The aqad nikah was held at Masjid As Saadah at Kampung Dato’ Ahmad Said Tambahan 2 and the reception was held the day after at my father-in-law’s place.

 

ijarahman

 

The reception on the groom’s side was held at Teluk Intan last Saturday. I haven’t been there for so long, so after the event, we drove to the town of Teluk Intan. I managed to snap a photo of the famous leaning tower of Teluk Intan.

 

 

ijarahman2 

 

Selamat Pengantin Baru to dear Rahman and Shariza. Semoga kekal bahagia ke akhir hayat.

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Problems with Blogger?

I have been trying so many times to post a comment on a dear friend’s blog to wish her Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary. But I think there are problems with either Blogger or WordPress because I can’t seem to do it. Anyway, to My Dearests (I hope this didn’t come too late),

 

Sis,

Happy belated birthday and may you have a better and blessed year ahead.

 

And to you and your husband,

Happy belated anniversary.

May you fall in love with each other more and more each day for the rest of your life!

 

Meanwhile, Mr Blogger or Mr WordPress, whoever is causing the problem, PLEASE, solve it!

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Falling Out of Love?

Falling in love is not easy. But lately, I seem to think that falling out of love is much easier than falling in love.

 

I have come across so many cases where married couples fall out of love. One of the main reasons for this is incompatibility, which I find it hard to believe since compatibility was the main reason why people fall in love in the first place.

 

Some of the usual statements when people fall in love: “I know that he is the right person for me. We can talk about just anything. We complete each other.”

 

And a similar statement but in a different context would appear when people fall out of love: “We just cannot get along anymore. I just realize that I chose the wrong person. We fight even about the smallest thing.”

 

Isn’t it weird?

 

It gets even worse when after five or ten or in some cases, twenty years of marriage and after having two, three or even four children together (and most importantly, an additional 10 – 30 kg of weight on both husband and wife – but of course the wife is more noticeable), you suddenly fall out of love. If the past five or ten or twenty years wasn’t love, then what was it? What was all that “sticking together through thick and thin” or “till death do us part” thing?

 

Couples grow apart so easily nowadays. The divorce rate is alarming, not only in the “non” Islamic countries like US or UK but even in Malaysia where the majority are Muslims. But although Allah allows for divorce, it is not something that Allah likes. And Allah has clearly emphasized that it is the responsibility of the Muslim husband to safeguard his family as mentioned in His book:

 

                                              

 

“O you who believe, Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones over which are angels stern and severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded.”

 

I am blessed to have parents who are still “in love” after nearly forty years of marriage. And alhamdulillah, the “fire” between my husband and me is still “burning” and I pray it stays that way.

 

But there are other unlucky people out there.

 

So, the question is, how do we stay being in love?

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